Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
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