I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
dream priorities were more important than voting today. don't tell me you wouldn't keep going back to sleep to find out who would win a fight between oprah and godzilla
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
Randomize