this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
I just had to go dumpster diving, at 3am, in the rain, because I realized that I somehow threw away the brand new package of birth control pills I picked up from the pharmacy this afternoon. So I'm sort of a responsible adult.
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
Randomize