i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
But he was wearing a glow-in-the-dark condom. It was like a glowing rod of kryptonite. I can't resist that, kryptonite is my weakness.
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
hey, just so we're clear, next time we go swimming drunk at my house, we have to use the floating chairs instead of my mattress. i'm not sure how to get it out of the pool.
Randomize
