you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
Don't read too much into what I just sent. I love you, always have, but I'm drunk and sorry for the confusion.
Which part? The boyfriend or the sex?
Boyfriend. SEX IS ON!!!
Randomize
