Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
Those nachos came to me in a dream
New strategy for telling if someone is drunk: will they attempt to drink a candle if you put a straw in it?
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
Randomize
