You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
Houston, we have a blender
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
I'm on a treadmill at the gym ordering pizza on my phone so it'll get to my house around the time I get home. I NEED HELP. Or I'm a genius. I haven't decided.
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
Randomize
