I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
Randomize
