So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
Oh my god. Just had sex with this girl on the boardroom table at my work at midnight (win!) just realized I left the condom wrapper on the table (lose!)
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
I woke up this morning with a text from my mom as to why the hell random people were showing up at the house. Turns out nobody came to our house party because I gave them my old address, fuck pre-partying for real
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
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