so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
Matt just took me to visit my puke stain from 2 weeks ago at the train station...I'm fucking impressive
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
Randomize
