Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
I'm bringing cupcakes to work today as an apology for my actions at the bar last night, my boss probably can't look at me the same ever again
sex in a hospital.. check
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
I just had the polyamorous Canadian hockey player do the splits while naked in a handstand at my apartment just now. And yes, I know it’s 1:30am on a Thursday.
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
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