Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
I just watched an old episode of Daria while eating brownies to cure day drunkness. Clearly I'm winning at adulting today.
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
It's 5am and I come home to you naked on the kitchen table and 3 people I never saw before fucking on the back porch ... and my weed gummy worms are gone. fuck you I'm taking your mom's offer
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
Randomize
