wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
I've literally NEVER been on a date or gotten through one episode of netflix without having sex like I JUST WANT TO WATCH TRUE DETECTIVE
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
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