It was like the Ritz Carlton of jails. I got introduced to our criminal system the right way.
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
Jack said he hasn't jerked off in like two weeks and he's like a smoldering volcano who wants to bury you like Pompeii with his man gravy
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