Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
Randomize
