I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
Someone just walked into the bar with a pillow
I don't know whether to judge him or give him a high five
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
I just folded my laundry and I washed 3 pairs of underwear and 6 jizz towels. Clearly I'm quarantining right.
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
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