I'm going to get drunk on champagne by myself.
Oh no wait my cat's here. Thank god for a second there I sounded really sad.
Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
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