You had a beer at 10:30 this morning?
Ya, I didn't have any Tylenol.
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
My 40 year old neighbors are throwing a party for their eight year old niece's birthday. It's 1am and they're still partying hard. Harder than me. It's Saturday. Just say it, I'm a disgrace to the generation.
Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
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