If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
Randomize