franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
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