Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
hey babe. i'll pick you up in my mom's car. with my mom. she has nothing to do tonight.
I discovered last night there is no graceful way to remove your face from your gf's crotch when your parents walk in the room
i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Randomize
