U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
he's single and there are thong briefs.
Randomize
