i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
my mom just served us mashed potatoes with an ice cream scoop. When I asked her why, she said she thought it would make dinner 'more fancy'...
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
I just made my bed perfectly before realizing that I'll be too drunk to appreciate it tonight
I'm doing shots of crown out of a baby bottle. My friends are sensational parents.
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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