We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
So to add to headbutting the microwave while waiting for my hot pockets to cook. I apparently told both bartenders earlier in the night I was going to fuck them both. I hate black out drunk me..
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
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