I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
The funny thing is... I'm about to go to the store to buy WD-40 and condoms... That's it.
And before you ask they are unrelated purchases.
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day?
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
Randomize