she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
My drug dealer just texted me that his kid had a rough sleep and was running late to deliver the ounce to my office. Totes adorbs.
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
Randomize
