Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
Randomize
