You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
i just woke up to that girl in my doorway. I kid you not. Tan and lime green thong on. peeing on the carpet in the hallway. Then she collapsed. There is a load of towels in the wash. Just thought you should know when you wake up. Gross.
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
my mind is a poorly written porno when i'm drunk.
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
She sprinted out of the bathroom and ran all the way into the middle of the street. Five minutes later she came back with a banana nut muffin. She's that kind of drunk.
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
Hi,\n\nYou left your underwear in my Uber. Thanks and bye.
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
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