like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had.
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
Randomize
