I just accidently deleted 60 gigs of porn from my external hard drive. Thats over 300 pornos! I think im gonna cry.
Im surprised that you are even able to text me right now.
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
Oh god our sink is a cavalcade of horrors. Brb sacrificing a goat and putting everything in the dishwasher forever
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
You’re a genius! I just walked in, shut the door, blew him and left. He could barely move afterwards and was a hot mess at the presentation. He already sent me a calendar invite for another meeting
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