If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
I'm using my ex bfs phone number to look up his Kroger card so I can get a discount on condoms...yep this is my life
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
Randomize
