Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
Found moms dildo in drawer while looking for socks, and its wet
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
the intervention consisted of my aunt taking me to chuck-e-cheezs and telling me that this was my future - either as a mom or as a waitress - unless i stopped fucking around.
did she buy you pizza?
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
Please say a prayer for the elevator people at work today. My farts are significantly more potent the day after hitting that korean place for lunch...
I just instagramed a picture of an ostrich in case you were wondering what I did with my night
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
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