we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
This spray tan I used isn't working out. I spent an hour exfoliating and rubbing the damn stuff in with rubber gloves. I wanted the alluring, sun-kissed, sexy look. I've achieved smelling like burnt popcorn and the cats won't stop licking me. I'm a salt lick for cats.
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
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