I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
Randomize
