Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
im like that movie w. ryan reynolds, no ones ever going to date me unless they're forced to marry me.
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
It's 6 am and I've spent the last few hours searching for a cork screw or suitable substitute. You had none. Incidentally, I finally opened this bottle of wine, but owe you a new meat sticky thing with those two prongs. Sobriety is not good for me. Or your utensils.
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
Randomize