She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
Apparently married women at the office don't like getting congratulated on getting "knocked up"
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
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