I can't disclose who, but one time I called someone, they didn't pick up, and immediately texted back 'will call later, masturbating'
I thought that was really considerate
Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
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