There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
Dude, this is like the 4th time today I've had to use cruise control for a 25mph zone. This hangover is never fucking gonna end.
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
There's a burrito next to my bed. Did you buy it for me or is the Chipotle fairy real? And why am I naked?
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
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