Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
I kept yelling "BY ORDER OF THE PEAKY FUCKING BLINDERS" in a terrible brummie accent at everyone I saw wearing a flatcap.
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