youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
Yes I’m serious. I just worked YOUR 12 hour shift on 3 hours of sleep if you come over without tacos and an ice cream cake in hand we are done
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
Randomize
