Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
I just checked and if you bring a picture of your ex they will shred it and give you a free 'hater shot'. Would it be too much to print off one of their wedding pictures and bring it?
I really love that you're not going the 'why am I not married and having a kid yet?' route, but rather 'thank god I dodged that bullet'
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
Randomize
