If it wasnt for my iphone and loopt, I would still be wandering the streets in a drunken stooper. Thanks Steve Jobs.
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
She woke me up with an urgent call telling me she was rolling on Mollie and swimming in the ocean. I mean that's just great. If she drowns, I'll feel responsible.
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
I know you're aving fun across the room but I can clearly see you getting a handy. It's not as "low key" as she promised. Also, why are you texting while she's doing it?!
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
Randomize
