is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
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