Someone shit on the floor
summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
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