ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
It's like the blind leading the senile over here.
UPDATE: shit just got real- grandma is threatening to beat grandpa with a wooden spoon covered in chili.
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
Randomize
