The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
Dear yesterdays makeup, Thank you for always being there when I stay up late binge drinking on weeknights and am running late to work Friday morning. You're the best.
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
He called me at 4 a.m. and wanted me to drive him to McDonald's then drop him off at home. It wasn't even a booty call, it was a fucking chauffeur call.
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
