from now on my penis is your penis
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
TSA found the edibles
Fuck
Oh my god he just. Swiped them for explosives and handed them back to me
God bless California
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
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