we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
Hey, I can't get ahold of Tommy. Let him know his ex-girlfriend is pregnant.
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. 🦃
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
Randomize
