I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
Some broad at the bar just asked me how much money I make. I don't know whats worse, the question or the answer.
Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
I'm about to punish you for sending me a Snapchat of your boyfriend's morning wood
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
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