of course. lets lasso hookers.
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
Today's hangover is a "wear sunglasses while pooping in the dark" kind of day
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
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