well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
It was awkward being the only one at the wedding who knows that the bride and groom met when she gave him a lap dance at a strip club
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
I'm not going to waste the next hour of my life writing a diplomatic email explaining that she's bitch. I have Parks and Rec to watch.
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
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