i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
Everytime I come home this stoned I masturbate in the shower for that long, its like my lonely ritual. Accept me.
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
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