So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
Watching the 1st game of the world cup. I'll drunk dial you at 8:30 to wake you up for work.
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
You showed up at 4 a.m with two middle-aged men, a 200 dollar bottle of wine, three bottles of beer, no shoes on, and a half eaten red velvet cake.You are never drinking absinthe again.
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
Randomize
