when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
Come see our sink grown plant.
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
Randomize
