He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
Hey
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GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
Randomize
