I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
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