I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
I just gave the bartender my number in roman numerals. If she figures it out, she's worth a shot
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
Dude you literally tried to cook your phone in the microwave. You were so wasted you asked your mom to help you turn it on.
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Randomize
