didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
I like my sex mixed with concussions.
you thought that fire hydrant was a midget...you gave it a hug and asked for a lollipop.
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
A dude just looked at me like my drunk swaying was corrupting his progeny DUDE YOUR KID HAS A MULLET YOU'VE ALREADY RUINED HIM
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
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