Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
Just saw the cop you hooked up with over break. He’s def hotter in uniform.
Tell him to stop shaving his pubes. #Notmyjam
you know you’re single when you try to cook yourself a nice pasta dinner but you’re too weak to open the container of sauce and theres no one around to help you
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
Randomize
