Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
I sat down with you and helped you write your will last night. I was THAT convinced that you weren't waking up.
For some reason, my father is not responding to the 5 texts I sent him that all read: "Dad dad dad dad dad dddaadd dddddaaaaaaaaad dad".
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
I forgot wine drunk hurts
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
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