So is it bad that I'm using this 21 year old for his hot bod and utter naivety?
No its what 21 year olds are made for
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
They are currently going door-to-door asking the neighbors to donate money for Cheez-Its and gift wrap. They asked me to stay back at the house to make another pitcher of margaritas.
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
I ordered a million chicken go wraps and they gave me five. Even when im drunk I can count to a million and know its not five. They fucked me.
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
I'm just going to use my debit card. I feel bad buying pizza with the money I stole from my roommate...so I'm going to put it in my piggy bank.
Randomize
