Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
Shaving my legs with an ankle monitor on is surprisingly more difficult than the drunk driving that got me here
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
Randomize
