My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
my phone vibrated itself into my puke bucket and literally sizzled. you'll have to reach me at this number for a while.
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
Randomize
